Contrary to Popular Belief, Best of Lists are HARD OK?

A bit difficult to do 'Best of '09' considering the blog's only been running for a year and furthermore I have the musical (and otherwise) attention span of a thimble. But here goes...

Best/Lol Moments of 2009:

-Telling Riva Starr to collaborate with my mum
-Fucking up Ellen Allien's room w/ a gaggle of girls
-Having Heidi laugh inappropriately at someone's broken arm on the phone
-Giving Keytars/Violins my balloon when he inevitably was too wasted to give it any love or care
-Being asked to interview Kitsune in Paris & being taken to lunch by their lovely press guy
-Making it in Curb Crawlers' Top 5 Blogs of 2009 list for NCAK & Slutty Fringe

Best Tracks?
No. I'm not doing that, it's as near impossible as 'a girl sticking an octopus up her genitals' (See Running Ponies).

Best Labels?
Sorry Turbo, after years of my enduring love and devotion I think you've been topped by Wolf + Lamb, Sound Pellegrino and Tartelet this year and woop at the newer Get Physical stuff

Best Album/Compilations:
Jamie Jones innit, and le Dixon Temporary Secretary Edits were super

Best Remix:

Um.. maybe Alland Byallo's Gold Daytons remix of Soul Clap. So good.

/rant

If You Muffle Your Ears Slightly It Almost Sounds Like 'Jingle Bells'

...when you listen to Inxec - Alright from the Matt 90's house Tolfrey and Inxec EP 'Even in Hollywood'. Y'know.. all the same key elements of upbeat (Chicago) festiveness are there.

And even more so for an aptly named A Black Elf by Lucio Aquilina with tinkling bells aplenty for CHRISTMAS DAY.

A blog is for life, not just for 364 days of the year.

Bootsy

Ever since his vocals were used in the wonkier-than-thou Claude VonStroke tracks I haven't been able to get him out of my mind-

Bush Doctors vs Bootsy Collins - Disciples of Funk
Because aren't we all.

BUSH DOCTORS V BOOTSY COLLINS by Bush Doctors

Crap..

I'm playing tomorrow apparently?

Temp

Ame - Setsa is a wonderful clangy number, like a string quartet stumbling into a cowshed.
Dixon dunna edit of it in his Temporary Secretary Mix, though you may want to check out the B-side Ensor.

And if you want to get freaked out by a grinning one-eyed loon a bit too close to those fucking freaky things in the Vauxhall advert - check out the video for the French creative collective Masomenos' Juhuu.

Raining Catz 'n' Dogz

Kasper sent me some nice stuff a while back w/ a lot of epic percussion and "bwoo, bwoo, bwoo, bwoo- WOOP-WOOP" bits. Definitive.

Here's the Catz 'n' Dogz & Pol On Skandal remix of his techno-er project 'Kasper Bjorke & His Friendly Ghost's The Great Derangement, a bit more upbeat than their Afera one. At one time I was obsessed with their remix of Freaky Motherfucker and put it in every one of my sets and yelled "Freaky Mofo" at people all the time. Due to various restraining orders, I think this phase has passed.

Afrika Bambaataa

The Paranormal (Maetrik Remix) - Voodeux

This won't give you shitting nightmares like the original.

and

Interafrica - Mihalis Safras

Friggin' excellent - Check out his new super homo-house Rubber EP. W/ Hugo mix.

T BAR

Holy vin diesel, I'm playing T Bar tomorrow night. Come over at 10.30pm for free frolics. Here's a new mix over at Flammette as a non-preparation for the night//

Crabsticks

This is a song called 'Crabsticks'.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crab_stick: "Crab sticks (also called imitation crab meat or labeled as krab) are a type of processed seafood made of surimi, or finely pulverized white fish flesh."

This is the best selling point I could ever hope for.
Plus it's the remix by Bart Skils who hailing from Amsterdam has this creepy as hell orange-giant-pixelface-webpage, surely proving his genius.

Crabsticks (District One Aka Bart Skills Remix) - Mihalis Safras & Mark Broom

Nice One, Max

Eelectronicaa.

Don't Add the Word 'Boogie' or 'Groove' on the End of a Song Please

Who could have thought bongos could be so boring.
WELL, Raymundo has done it with a track called 'Stanstead Boogie'... Can you IMAGINE getting on your 4.30am Easyjet flight listening to this? I'd be cranky as hell.

Anyway, this is nice: Dan Ghenacia - Now U Need as featured in M.A.N.D.Y's mix for Dazed.

(P.s Magda's done a nice Fabric mix: 49 innit. Feat. Robert Babicz, Marc Houle, and Heartthrob, OFC.)

Spencer Parker Spencer

AN OLD ONE BUT A NICE ONE:

Spencer Parker- Yogoto
(I dunna Rekids spree)

Darkstar

And hopping on the Hyperdub wagon, their release from Darkstar - Aidy's Girl is a Computer is an excellently melodic Jay Prada/Kimbie-esque number.

Fast Hands

Slow Hands - Fast Tongue at Juno
On Zev and Gadi's Wolf + Lambykins

More erotic than that time I accidentally bought crotchless tights.

Photo from Heavy Puff

Time

Time - from Samuel L Session's The Man With the Case.

Some lovely epic and smooth complexly layered tech/house from a dodgy man in Sweden with as catchy a name as Joy Orbison

Never Sleep

Apologies for the neglect recently.. NY and LDN Fashion Weeks means no eat and NO SLEEP, with even less time for trumpets.

Sobered since the bright lights & the mousetraps in my goody bags, I bring the Gadi Mizrahi rereremix of Seth Troxler's Love Never Sleeps from Wolf + Lamb.

And long due a post is one half of UBER disco Retro/Grade, Tom Neville's -NWN feat. some ever-necessary psuedo-scat 'n' all.

Tartelet

I like pastries a lot, and like most people who talk about dating them I've often wondered how our relationship can really progress before you om nom to death it to its flaky demise. However Tomboy & Fredski of WhoMadeWho have long honoured this love with their Danish label (yum, danish) Tartelet Records featuring piano stabby tech-house and grown-up understated stompiness from artists like Wareika, Kenton Slash Demon and James Braun (Mothership).

Here's one of my (and probs Christian Martin's seeing as it was in his FACT Mix) fave pick:
Kenton Slash Demon - Singla (from the awesome Khattabi EP available at Juno)

and the unreleased Clouded Vision Remix via Matt Walsh's blog.

Their Tarterama Mix for Panorama Bar.

NEW BLOG

A Blog I Made Whilst Making a Mix:

Flammette Blog

Fuck

Wow, a Fuckpony song I actually like.
A Pills Medley is some pretty smooth going from Fuckponey poney.

P.s check out my interview with Renaissance Man for Dazed: here.

Too Much

dOP- Genius of the Crowd

Another 'geniusly' percussive piece from fave dOP aside their Bateria remix, with Insomnia-esque vocals from the EP with Mambo Jambo, complete with a Guy Gerber remix.

Such insightful lyrics from Bukowski beg the question of where dance music is going.

The answer? Nowhere.

I mean come on. The peak of dance music was recently a song about peanuts and a song about I don't know what the hell you're saying.

..Or beating a bird with a BAT?

Nice one VonStroke.