Contrary to Popular Belief, Best of Lists are HARD OK?

A bit difficult to do 'Best of '09' considering the blog's only been running for a year and furthermore I have the musical (and otherwise) attention span of a thimble. But here goes...

Best/Lol Moments of 2009:

-Telling Riva Starr to collaborate with my mum
-Fucking up Ellen Allien's room w/ a gaggle of girls
-Having Heidi laugh inappropriately at someone's broken arm on the phone
-Giving Keytars/Violins my balloon when he inevitably was too wasted to give it any love or care
-Being asked to interview Kitsune in Paris & being taken to lunch by their lovely press guy
-Making it in Curb Crawlers' Top 5 Blogs of 2009 list for NCAK & Slutty Fringe

Best Tracks?
No. I'm not doing that, it's as near impossible as 'a girl sticking an octopus up her genitals' (See Running Ponies).

Best Labels?
Sorry Turbo, after years of my enduring love and devotion I think you've been topped by Wolf + Lamb, Sound Pellegrino and Tartelet this year and woop at the newer Get Physical stuff

Best Album/Compilations:
Jamie Jones innit, and le Dixon Temporary Secretary Edits were super

Best Remix:

Um.. maybe Alland Byallo's Gold Daytons remix of Soul Clap. So good.

/rant

If You Muffle Your Ears Slightly It Almost Sounds Like 'Jingle Bells'

...when you listen to Inxec - Alright from the Matt 90's house Tolfrey and Inxec EP 'Even in Hollywood'. Y'know.. all the same key elements of upbeat (Chicago) festiveness are there.

And even more so for an aptly named A Black Elf by Lucio Aquilina with tinkling bells aplenty for CHRISTMAS DAY.

A blog is for life, not just for 364 days of the year.

Bootsy

Ever since his vocals were used in the wonkier-than-thou Claude VonStroke tracks I haven't been able to get him out of my mind-

Bush Doctors vs Bootsy Collins - Disciples of Funk
Because aren't we all.

BUSH DOCTORS V BOOTSY COLLINS by Bush Doctors

Crap..

I'm playing tomorrow apparently?

Temp

Ame - Setsa is a wonderful clangy number, like a string quartet stumbling into a cowshed.
Dixon dunna edit of it in his Temporary Secretary Mix, though you may want to check out the B-side Ensor.

And if you want to get freaked out by a grinning one-eyed loon a bit too close to those fucking freaky things in the Vauxhall advert - check out the video for the French creative collective Masomenos' Juhuu.

Raining Catz 'n' Dogz

Kasper sent me some nice stuff a while back w/ a lot of epic percussion and "bwoo, bwoo, bwoo, bwoo- WOOP-WOOP" bits. Definitive.

Here's the Catz 'n' Dogz & Pol On Skandal remix of his techno-er project 'Kasper Bjorke & His Friendly Ghost's The Great Derangement, a bit more upbeat than their Afera one. At one time I was obsessed with their remix of Freaky Motherfucker and put it in every one of my sets and yelled "Freaky Mofo" at people all the time. Due to various restraining orders, I think this phase has passed.

Afrika Bambaataa

The Paranormal (Maetrik Remix) - Voodeux

This won't give you shitting nightmares like the original.

and

Interafrica - Mihalis Safras

Friggin' excellent - Check out his new super homo-house Rubber EP. W/ Hugo mix.

T BAR

Holy vin diesel, I'm playing T Bar tomorrow night. Come over at 10.30pm for free frolics. Here's a new mix over at Flammette as a non-preparation for the night//

Crabsticks

This is a song called 'Crabsticks'.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crab_stick: "Crab sticks (also called imitation crab meat or labeled as krab) are a type of processed seafood made of surimi, or finely pulverized white fish flesh."

This is the best selling point I could ever hope for.
Plus it's the remix by Bart Skils who hailing from Amsterdam has this creepy as hell orange-giant-pixelface-webpage, surely proving his genius.

Crabsticks (District One Aka Bart Skills Remix) - Mihalis Safras & Mark Broom

Nice One, Max

Eelectronicaa.

Don't Add the Word 'Boogie' or 'Groove' on the End of a Song Please

Who could have thought bongos could be so boring.
WELL, Raymundo has done it with a track called 'Stanstead Boogie'... Can you IMAGINE getting on your 4.30am Easyjet flight listening to this? I'd be cranky as hell.

Anyway, this is nice: Dan Ghenacia - Now U Need as featured in M.A.N.D.Y's mix for Dazed.

(P.s Magda's done a nice Fabric mix: 49 innit. Feat. Robert Babicz, Marc Houle, and Heartthrob, OFC.)

Spencer Parker Spencer

AN OLD ONE BUT A NICE ONE:

Spencer Parker- Yogoto
(I dunna Rekids spree)

Darkstar

And hopping on the Hyperdub wagon, their release from Darkstar - Aidy's Girl is a Computer is an excellently melodic Jay Prada/Kimbie-esque number.

Fast Hands

Slow Hands - Fast Tongue at Juno
On Zev and Gadi's Wolf + Lambykins

More erotic than that time I accidentally bought crotchless tights.

Photo from Heavy Puff

Time

Time - from Samuel L Session's The Man With the Case.

Some lovely epic and smooth complexly layered tech/house from a dodgy man in Sweden with as catchy a name as Joy Orbison

Never Sleep

Apologies for the neglect recently.. NY and LDN Fashion Weeks means no eat and NO SLEEP, with even less time for trumpets.

Sobered since the bright lights & the mousetraps in my goody bags, I bring the Gadi Mizrahi rereremix of Seth Troxler's Love Never Sleeps from Wolf + Lamb.

And long due a post is one half of UBER disco Retro/Grade, Tom Neville's -NWN feat. some ever-necessary psuedo-scat 'n' all.

Tartelet

I like pastries a lot, and like most people who talk about dating them I've often wondered how our relationship can really progress before you om nom to death it to its flaky demise. However Tomboy & Fredski of WhoMadeWho have long honoured this love with their Danish label (yum, danish) Tartelet Records featuring piano stabby tech-house and grown-up understated stompiness from artists like Wareika, Kenton Slash Demon and James Braun (Mothership).

Here's one of my (and probs Christian Martin's seeing as it was in his FACT Mix) fave pick:
Kenton Slash Demon - Singla (from the awesome Khattabi EP available at Juno)

and the unreleased Clouded Vision Remix via Matt Walsh's blog.

Their Tarterama Mix for Panorama Bar.

NEW BLOG

A Blog I Made Whilst Making a Mix:

Flammette Blog

Fuck

Wow, a Fuckpony song I actually like.
A Pills Medley is some pretty smooth going from Fuckponey poney.

P.s check out my interview with Renaissance Man for Dazed: here.

Too Much

dOP- Genius of the Crowd

Another 'geniusly' percussive piece from fave dOP aside their Bateria remix, with Insomnia-esque vocals from the EP with Mambo Jambo, complete with a Guy Gerber remix.

Such insightful lyrics from Bukowski beg the question of where dance music is going.

The answer? Nowhere.

I mean come on. The peak of dance music was recently a song about peanuts and a song about I don't know what the hell you're saying.

..Or beating a bird with a BAT?

Nice one VonStroke.

You've Made a Big Mistake

Metronomy - Not Made For Love (Astronomer Remix)

You all know who Astronomer is? Lovely.

Espresso

NY's Biatchcorp sends love via the medium of Karraskilla's Expreso Cali (Pawas Remix)

ft. soaring synths, jittery cut-up vox and strummed harps, over Karraskilla's trademark breed of dark driving bass.

In a similarly lush vein, the DJ Hell and Tigerskin remixes of 'Abe Duque & Virginia's Following My Heart are pretty tight too, the latter as heard in that Matt Walsh Fabric Promo Mix in Juuune or whatever.

Ghostly

A far cry from Matthew Dear's light summer choons from the Ghostly/Spectral labels also of Audion, Seth Troxler, and deep 'MANDATE MY ASS' disco Daso comes

Lawrence (of Dial Recs) with Divided.
The gardener-turned-minimal-techno-producer brings us this beautifully chilling track with the gentlest of claps and ethereal leads, the perfect soundtrack to a berkishly pretentious film about a blossoming young lady coming of age in Tokyo. Or something.
Also to check out is Immune by Bodycode, a melancholic rhythmic shuffley motherbitch feat. dark vocals accompanying the piano and robotic blips.

LuckyMe

German lady photographer Debora Mittelstadt

Glitchy

Roman Fluegel- Prinzessin X

This is really glitchy. In fact, horribly so, but like a small cranky child, have some patience and bear with it and it becomes this lovely almost Unit 4's Remix of Aquaplane deep house-esque layered piece with warped bass. (That's what kids become, right?)

Jet Set Njet

GREAT name. GREAT artwork. Little bit poop band.

Like the kinda reject Artrocker proto-ensembles you used to nod your head knowingly to down in the Buffalo Bar in Islington and that's got to be a good thing- on Norwegian Anomalie Records 'cause I've bloody heard of that.

EU Funky

Have been in love Mount Kimbie's 50 Mile View- but will get shot in the bum if I leak this so check it out here. Beautifully ambient 8-bitty dubstep of epic proportions.

Perhaps my posterior is a little more likely to remain intact if I post these gems:
A remix by Solo for Maps' I Dream of Crystal.
And motherfucking SIS- (Stipe Remix) of Sum. Far from his Trompeta, it remains a superbly summery breed of tech-house similar to the wave of Dutch/Danish/Euro tracks these days featuring ridiculous pitch-bends and tribal percs added with 'ethnic/world' sampling more silly than Primary One's voice in Style of Eye's Vocal Remix of Who's There?
Call it... 'EU Funky'.

Macking Hoes

Here's a snippety snip of the sample from which Erol Alkan created his Waves:

Albion- Space Time Continuum. Unfortunately nerds will catch you out, don't expect them to be out macking hoes on a Friday night as if they wouldn't prefer to be at home on the 'Robots for Robots Forum' which discovers this track is a result of further musical theft. Shock. (Hehe thanks Leighton)

Maher Daniel- Casbar on Get Physical's awesome Full Body Work Out Vol. 5.

Sparse trippy vocals and expect the triangle.

Illustration by Ricardo Fumanal: My Dazed article on his surreal shizz is out HERE.

Bambi

Should have done this post last week but obviously I was still suffering a facial spasm from the cuteness of Stella McCartney's Fall '09 campaign with Sigrid Agren shot by Ryan McGinley.
Described as an attempt to "contrast fierce clothes with the innocence of Bambi".

Look at Thumper there. What an absolute twat.

I cba to post an unreleased il/legal mp3 today with the hopelessly vague intent of making people buy other stuff of the artists I like so I will do this:
GO HERE for the Astronomer (aka Alex Skull Juice Egan) remix of The XX. Tis lovely.
(Sadly the Clouded Vision is a bit meh)

Away for the Weekend Chart

Thought I'd do a little 'chart' (I'd make a 'mix' but 'Nobody' would listen to it) before I embark on a free trip to Amsterdam to see some Chuckie, Afrojack, Pilooski, and Toddla T. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?

-Gregor Salty's- Mexer (3am Remix by 'FUNKIN Matt')

-DJ T- Bateria (Dop Remix)

-Gossip- Love Long Distance (Riva Starr Remix)

-Digital Manges- Manges (Sharkslayer Dubmix)

-Steve Angello & AN21- Flonko

-Voodeux- Pina Colada (J.Phlip Remix) or something pon her myspace

-Iron Curtis- Solgerhood as also featured on Brodinski's Bugged Out Mix

Some bangers. Some non-bangers.

SHOES

16 year old STEVE from Bromley's amazingly homoerotic Midnight Roland Remix of Shoes.

It was on that weirdo Tiga podcast about dwarves innit.

Note: I HATE Shoes (Original).

Pic: Juergen bloody Teller for Christ's sake:

His Marc Jacobs Advertising 1998-2009 Book = WANT

Renaissance Boy

Sonic C- Saiph sounds a bit like a 17 yo Aoki making trumpet tech.
Oh wait. IT IS. Fun stuff.

Chaim's back with a new EP Thrill You on Bpitch to go mental with your shopping cart, remember his Chicken Kiev? This is what happens when you name a song when you're higher than Balmain's next season shoulderpads.

Floating Points

Today is the day for making up more sub-genres because Lardcore and Crudstep weren't funny enough:

Floating Points- Shangrila

Nice deep-step hip house B-side to Love Me Like This

Bibio - Jealous of Roses

Funk house groove beat from Ambivalence Avenue

Train to Tehran

Photo: Skeleton Legs

Namito- Train to Tehran (Original Mix) as heard in Style of Eye's Essential Mix so you know it's good. Even got everyone in a vicarage singing along to SoE's Grounded (Radio Edit) on a Sunday morning.

Er I hear everyone is posting about that Joy Orbison guy innit. HYPH MANGO. I'm COOL. Since when did 21 mean GRANDMA? I'm down with the kids.XXX

Riton + Primary 1

Video as directed by L-Vis 1990 for Who's There out on Erol's Phantasy label.

Yes it was Riton & Primary 1. SIGH..

No it wasn't Erol Alkan & Boys Noize AGAIN,

no it wasn't Erol Alkan & LA Priest,

and no it REALLY wasn't a small child and half a bean pie.

SUPER DISCO

Hey guys. Me mate Kirsti from Dazed is Djing tonight alongside Nathan Fake and Vincent Oliver at the 'Gold Bar' (genius name?) on Stoke Newington Church St. Check it out if you're not Brodinski-ing.

Plus rumour has it Buster Super Super Bennett has started a 'DJ School', 808 Academy. Prepare for more Peaches Pudding Face Geldofs.

Solo + SIS

The Big Stef

Big sample.

Cannot wait to see 'midget house' pioneer Solo from Rome playing Fabric this Friday at Brodinski's all-star line-up Suck My Deck launch for Bugged Out/Kill Em All.

Hopefully if 'Dusty Kid' is in attendance I can voice my concerns for how he got that way and finally call social services.

Plus: Wo Worst Du?- SIS

Something Dark

Palle (Spektre Remix)- Los Suruba

'Cause everyone likes exotic duo Spektre from Cardiff/Leeds

Arabe (Milton Channels Remix)- Hector Cuoto
Milton's driven clean percussion reminiscent of early Popof leads into eerie delayed breakdowns.. Oh how I miss proper 'tech bangerz'

In My Blood (Mom & Dad Remix)- Sharam Jay

Yeah it's been around, but I like it.

Plus, in case you missed THIS BANGING MOFO-

Renaissance Rene's Party House Mix:
1.Herbert - Moving Like A Train (Smith & Hack Remix) -K7
2. SIS- Trompetta -CDR
3. Zombie Disco Squad - Esperanto -Sound Pellegrino
4. Radioclit- Secousse (Brodinski Remix) - Mental Groove
5. Obi Blanche - Beetle Fight - CDR
6. Mixhell - Boom Da (Downtown Remix Instrumental) - New Judas
7. Green Velvet - Thoughts - Music Man
8. Renaissance Man - Aloha Dub - CDR
9. D.H.S - House Of God - Poker Flat
10. Thomas Schumacher- Picanha - Get Physical
11. Renaissance Man - Spraycan - Dubsided

Heart Attack

Tara Darby shoots for Undercurrent Magazine.

Everyone loves lairy tribal house from the Netherlands:

Silvio Ecomo & Chuckie - Moombah (Afrojack Remix)

So smooth it calmed me down after I had a shitting heart attack at new Minimow like my computer did that time I opened up Turbo Recordings AND Cocoon on the same web browser:
Giorgio Gigli Podcast for Turbo

Thunderstorm

Beautiful songs for the weather outside.

Bicycle- on Memory Tapes' blog
&

Battlehymn for Children (Tensnake Dub Remix)- The Faint

THE END IS NIGH

'Cause Crookers, Bloody Beetroots and other such dirty foul-mouthed Italians weren't enough. The Pelussje posse promise pathetic attempts at 'remixing' the classics that are Modjo's Lady and Foo Fighters with this emerging popular genre consisting of.. wobble.. electro.. fidget house? NO WAI.
Please, I can't throw up anymore, my stomach is empty and my mouth is dry what do you want from me? More upsetting than that time I watched the AA24/7 video on MDMA and almost worst than Mr Trevor Loveys when he added lazy 'bangra' sounds into boring 'ass' beats = a song titled Chips & Curry.
INGENIUS, LOVEYS. CLAP CLAP.

HORRIBLE NOISES: F. Sonik- Vertigo (Umek Remix)

Trouble Vision

Royal College of Art graduate Gudrun Kloepsch juxtaposes the 'I'm the repressed librarian of the dreams when you wake up in an estuary of your own jizz' & 'irritating posh lady freaking the hell out at a bird/height/prostitute mum issue straight outta Hitchcock' looks w/ awfully practical lace glasses.

Music to dream to:
Memory Cassette- Asleep at a Party

(former members of Hail Social & Weird Tapes, on Acephale)

Music to have fucking nightmares to:

Voodeux- Bones

(Mothership)

Magnus Unnar

Amazing shoot in i-D by do no wrong Magnus Unnar.

Peaches- Lose You (Yuksek & Brodinski Remix) (256)

Pretty heavy shit: Joseph Capriati- Kontrol Room from the Sidechains EP

Guy J- Shaman (Lontano Remix)

Lovely stuff.

Hello, I'm Polymorphic and I don't understand SET PROGRESSION: Technomusic Tour podcast

Dirtybird

Romanian producer ICS - Emil and Espagnol on Dirtybird.

Some praise for the record from Riva wonky Starr et al:

"That’s how I like it right now, nice and simple! Thanx rs."

True dat. Anyone noticed he's gone mildly less retarded/i.e rave re: Renaissance Man remix?

I mean, remember House Music? O LOL.

P.s check out ICS' remix for The Martin Brothers' Dum.

And as heard in some live set mixed perfectly pre-Popof's Faces'uch: Emerson Todd- Rumplestiltskin